If I were a rich man...

My assignment: What would I do with unlimited money? Let's see-

If I had $1,000 which I could use in anyway I see fit, I'd buy my boy a PS3.

If I had $10,000, I'd move to a nicer townhouse, buy myself a top of the line mattress, a new couch, satellite radio, a guitar, take my boy on vacation.

If I had $100,000, I'd do all of the above and hire someone to watch my dad.

If I had a million, I'd buy a house in the country, buy something cheap for my brother, take care of my folks, and have my son's college plans paid for. I'd also donate a fair sum to my church.

If I had 10 million, not much would change, except I'd be retired.

For $100 million, I'd pay for my son's new school. And have a vacation home or two.



It goes without saying that the booze and cheap women are attached to any of those dollar figures. ;)

Pardon the unoriginality

I've got nothing. I've been so busy with the conversion of our voter registration system, I haven't had time to write. I'm going to lift yet another idea froma fellow blogger, this time my bud(thanks for the typo spot, Nuggie. And I made damn sure I didn't have "but bud" in there) TMLSB, he of http://www.tmlsb.com . Thanks!


If you were an ANIMAL, what would you be? An eagle.
B BOOKS: What’s on your reading list? I'm rereading The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant by Steven Donaldson.
C COMPULSIVE about anything? I keep my clothes in the closet in the order I'm planning on wearing them.
D DREAMS - Do you … dream in color? Vividly
E EATING - what’s your usual snack? Salsa. I seriously think I may need an intervention.
F A Few of your FAVORITE Things: My son, Batman, music, movies.
G GIGGLES! What (or who) makes you laugh? Do you have a good sense of humor? I think I have a very good sense of humor, but I'm narcissistic.
H major HOT Button: Disloyalty.
I I am.
K Also KNOWN As… Aliases? Screen names? Other than what you're seeing here, nah.
L I LOVE …My son. I cannot fathom what my life would be without him.
M How do you feel about MEETING people? I'm fairly reclusive. Which explains why I have no social life.
N What’s the story of your NAME? None for me, but my son was named after both his grandfathers.
O OBSERVANT - Chaos, medicine and vitamins.
Q Any Little QUIRKs About Yourself: None I can think of.
R What do you like to do for RECREATION? Play on the computer, watch a movie.
S Do You SING in the Shower? In the car? I like the acoustics, but it's be tough to get an audience to hear me sing in there naked. I sing in the shower, too. :)
T What’s at the Top of your TO DO list?: Learn a musical intrument, lose weight.
U Any UNUSUAL Experiences: I peed with William "The Refrigerator" Perry.
V VEGAS,Vienna,Venice,Vladivostok… How far have you traveled? What’s your favorite City? I’ve been to Cancun and the Mall of America.
W WINTER, Spring, Summer, Fall… What’s your favorite season? Fall.
X EXes - Things You Don’t Do Anymore (but did, once (would you, again?)) Date.
Y Any secret/deep YEARNINGS? To be Bruce Wayne rich. I'd so have a tricked-out Batcave.
Z ZERO to ZENITH - Where are you in your life? Still growing? On an upward (or downward) curve? Just skating along? I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I may not always know why, but God does, and that's good enough for me.

So many questions from the voices in my head

How do you know you need a life, Dan? I'm watching bears hump on TV.

Why are you watching bears hump on TV? Because I have a new 42" HDTV.

Is there nothing else on TV? Yes.

Why don't you change the channel? Because it looks so freaking good.

What are the bears doing now? Walking by the river, then back to humping.

Did you realize those bears had more action in your living room in the past five minutes than you've had in the past few years? Unfortunately, yes.



OK, let's change the subject. How about those Cardinals? Shut the hell up.

They got swept by the (titter) Cubs? You're killing me.

In the clubhouse

I was watching the conclusion of the British Open today. Tiger Woods played near flawlessly as he went on to defend his championship. I’m not enough of a golf junkie to say I watch everything, but I do try to keep an eye on the majors. When Tiger is on his game, as he was this weekend, he almost becomes robotic. His mechanics are so precise; he stays so within himself, so calm, so cool. His reaction at the end of the tournament was so much a release of those constraints. He went to hug his caddie, and ended up sobbing in his arms. I’m sure most of you know that he lost his father a few months ago. I’m certain it brought a few tears to a lot of people’s eyes. I know it did at my house.

I don’t know what it’s like to miss your father, but I know the day is coming. And I know that one day, there will be some accomplishment I’ll want to share with him, and I won’t be able to. I do know that wherever he’ll be, he’ll have a big smile on his face.

I also need to let my son know how very proud I am of him, of how much joy he’s given to my life. He hears it a lot, but another time surely wouldn’t hurt. Because there may come a day when I can’t, and I’d never want him to doubt it.


I think I need my caddie now.


Go tell someone you love them. Now.

Thanks for the Meme-aries

Bad pun. Budgyrl made me do it. ;)

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

× I don't watch much TV these days. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
✓ I own lots of books. (Comic books. Oh, the regular ones too.)
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses. (I have since I was seven.)
✓ I love to play video games.
× I've tried marijuana. (I've never done an illegal substance in my life. Except alcohol.)
✓ I've watched porn movies. (But I'm not watching them right now.)
✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes.
× I have broken someone's bones. (Someone has broken my bones, however.)
× I hate the rain. (I love the rain.)
✓ I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. (Suck some of that fat outta me, please.)
× I love sushi. (I need a "So You're New to Sushi" course.)
× I have lost money in Las Vegas. (I have lost money on the riverboats.)
✓ I have at least one sibling. (All of my brothers are half-brothers. See previous post for more info.)
✓ I think prostitution should be legalized.
× I have a lot of friends. (Not really. I used to have a lot of friends, but I got older.)
✓ I have a mobile phone.
× I want to have children in the future. (I think I'm too old for another.)
✓ I have changed a diaper before.
✓ I have a lot to learn.
✓ I am shy around the opposite sex. (Which explains why I'm filling this out rather than being on a date.)
✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before. (Alcohol)
✓ I would die for my best friends.
× I have used my sexuality to advance my career. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
✓ I am happy at this moment.
× I'm obsessed with guys. (Ummmm, no.)
✓ Republican.
✓ I love my job(s).
✓ I am comfortable with who I am right now.
✓ I walk barefoot wherever I can.
× I am a pyro. (I used to be.)
✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
✓ I can pick up things with my toes.
✓ I have ridden/owned a horse.
× I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century. (Wrong decade. I'd be a happy camper in the 1950's.)
✓ I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.
✓ I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
× I smoke. (I've had one cigarette in my life.)
✓ I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then. (I'm a big softie.)
✓ I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.
✓ I have played strip poker with someone else before.
× I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help. (I sought professional help when I was going through my divorce.)
× I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
✓ I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
✓ I have no piercings.
✓ I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.
× I don't like to chew gum. (I chew gum nearly every work day. Nervous energy.)
✓ I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.
× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly. (I used to be hardcore.)
✓ I love to sing. (I wish I was good at it.)
✓ I've gone skinny-dipping.
✓ I enjoy burritos.
✓ I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.
✓ I download songs from the internet.
✓ Music helps me remember that I am not alone.



I'm going to tag two T's. Tiny Tim and Taz, you're it.

My 100 things

1. I was born in Harvey, Illinois, nearly 43 years ago.
2. I've lead an fairly ordinary life.
3. Most days I'm okay with that.
4. I have one son who's 8 years old.
5. He is the absolute joy of my life.
6. 4 months before he was born, we almost lost him.
7. I was asked the "If we have to save one of them" question.
8. I am so very grateful it never got to that point.
9. That was the second worst day of my life.
10. The worst was the day we suffered a miscarriage.
11. I'm no longer married.
12. When we were seperated, I almost made a phone call that would have gotten her fired.
13. We get along fine now.
14. I have no idea how I'm going to be able to make 100 items.
15. My first crush was on Kim in Kindergarten.
16. My teacher was pretty hot too, she wore mini-skirts most days.
17. She only worked one year.
18. I work in for the election authority in the county I live.
19. I've been acknowledged as one of the best election technicians in the state.
20. I don't think there are a lot of election technicians in the state.
21. I'm hoping this will be the last place I work as my skills have become unique to what I do now.
22. I've only had three employers in my life.
23. The first, Hardee's, only lasted three months.
24. The second was a local hospital where I was employed for 14 years.
25. I worked in Dietary and transferred to Data Processing.
26. I worked both positions for a while.
27. I don't miss working Computer Operations midnight shift, although I did work alone.
28. I was laid off by the guy I went to High School with.
29. He was also a groomsman in my wedding.
30. I asked him to give me as much notice as he could before I got laid off.
31. He didn't.
32. I don't like him much now.
33. He's now the CEO of the hospital.
34. I was hired for my current position 8 days after I got laid off.
35. I love my job.
36. My boss is a decent, noble man.
37. I can't believe you're still reading this.
38. I love my parents very much.
39. They were both married before.
40. My mom had one son from a previous marriage.
41. I've know him my whole life.
42. I wish he were a happier person.
43. My dad had four sons from a previous marriage.
44. I've never met three of them.
45. I met the fourth for about 30 seconds when he drove eight hours to tell my dad to leave them alone.
46. I didn't know about my other half-brothers or my dad's previous marriage until my grandmother's funeral.
47. I was 21.
48. I hate snakes.
49. I have a fear of heights.
50. I loved Cancun.
51. I have high blood pressure.
52. My medicine makes me real sensitive to sunlight, sunburn and dehydration.
53. I've lost 13 pounds this year.
54. My goal is to lose another 11.
55. My favorite movie is It's a Wonderful Life.
56. My favorite TV show is Seinfeld.
57. I was accepted at Boston College and Iowa State.
58. I attended school at the local community college.
59. I have two Associate degrees and a one year certificate.
60. I used to write.
61. I've had two short stories published.
62. It's difficult for me to write now.
63. I wonder why I have a blog.
64. I haven't been drunk in nearly five years.
65. I enjoy NASCAR.
66. Robby Gordon is my favorite driver.
67. Michael Waltrip is not.
68. I'm a member of the Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod.
69. It was the Church where I was confirmed.
70. I read scripture about once a month.
71. I'm also on the Church's Building Committee.
72. And on the School Board where my son attends.
73. I left this Church and joined another LCMS church in 1988 because my parents did.
74. I was this church's Youth Director.
75. I was chosen because I was young and new and apparently agreeable.
76. That lasted about a year.
77. I helped baptize my son there. The pastor took my hand and placed it into the font to sprinkle the water on my son's head.
78. I'll never forget that.
79. We left that church the same time the pastor did.
80. I joined my current church initially to get discounted tuition for my son's school.
81. I couldn't imagine not going now.
82. I know that God loves me and has forgiven me all of my sins, undeserving though I may be.
83. I need to sometimes remember to forgive myself.
84. I don't have many friends.
85. I'm a bit of a hermit.
86. I haven't had a date in over two and a half years.
87. The last woman I dated said she wasn't ready for commitment.
88. She got married 11 months after we broke up.
89. It probably worked out for the best.
90. I get lonely sometimes, especially on the weekends I don't have my son.
91. That one was tough to type.
92. I have a ginourmous Batman collection.
93. Once as a very young child, I got a tiny Batman stuck in my nose.
94. I had to go to the ER.
95. I once passed out in the ER, and fell on top of my then fiance, who was the reason we went to the ER.
96. The last thing I remember was "Help! Get him off me".
97. I had walking pneumonia once, I remember shivering uncontrollably in my car.
98. I remember Dirty Dancing once with a girl at a Halloween Party.
99. She was the drummer's daughter.
100. She was 16. It was a 21 & over party. How was I to know? No, nothing happened more than me picking her up over my head.

Vacation

I've been on vacation the past week. I hardly ever go anyplace when I'm off work, largely because:
a.) I'm a county employee and can't afford it
b.) my visitation schedule with my son makes it difficult to plan something
c.) I can't get comfortable sleeping in someone else's bed. I'm pretty sure I've inherited that from my parents, who've only been on two overnight trips since in the past 35 years (Nashville and the Wisconsin Dells), and none in the past 30.

My son's soccer camp was this week, so I spent it watching him play. I'd wished they'd have spent more time working on specific skills, but I guess it's difficult given the age group (4-9 years old), and the varying skill levels. The coaches were all from England, and that helped the kids with a different coaching perspective (or at least that's what the coaches say). At the end of every day's session they'd have a few group scrimmages. It was good to see my son being aggressive on both ends of the field, and not being afraid to go up against kids who were larger than he. But I'm probably proudest that he also exhibited excellent sportsmanship during the week, complimenting both teammates and opponents on good plays, and trying to pick his teammates up when they made bad plays. He was a gentleman throughout.

But I'd have liked to box some kid's ears. I'm all for being competitive, but you don't be so competitive that you cheat, or taunt your competition, or push your teammate out of the way so you can score a goal.

Do I sound like I'm thinking of becoming a coach? I might next year.